Life Coaches (of which I am one) are those people you hire when you feel stuck and want someone to help you sort through various options to figure out the best one. There are life coaches that specialize in business topics, health issues, or just general life issues. The one thing we have in common is that we create a plan, follow a system and analyze results. Along the way, you should feel supported and motivated.
Life coaches can be many different things to different people based on individual needs, however, there are some things that most everyone needs: a cheerleader, a level head, someone to listen, someone to hold you accountable for your actions and plan, someone to point out the flaws in your plan, and someone with common sense.
Life coaches are not therapists and shouldn’t analyze why you did something, just help you figure out how to get out of the mess you may have created.
You can be your own life coach and here’s how:
Are you stuck? All of us can get in a rut now and then. We get in a routine and keep doing the same thing over and over. It’s not a problem if it doesn’t bother you but you’ll know when it does. You won’t feel the same acceptance or joy at doing the same things. You’ll have a nagging feeling that there is something more but you can’t put your finger on it. You’ll want to make changes but just can’t figure out how. We all have limitations placed on us at different times in our lives; financial, health, education, age, etc., but we can always continue to plan for the future. That’s one of the things that make us look forward to life. So, if you are stuck, look at each area of your life- financial, career/professional, relationships, emotional, health/wellness and spirituality and rate your happiness on a scale of one to ten. Those areas that score low need the most immediate attention.
Figure out your happiness meter. You can’t move ahead without knowing what would make you happy. Picture exactly what you want: how it would look, smell, sound, taste and feel. If it is in the area of relationships, then what is it you want? Do you want a friend, a significant other, a life partner, or a marriage? What attributes would the person have, how often do you want to be with them, what do you want them to bring to the table? Are you just looking for more friends? Would you rather have a few really close friends or a lot of more casual acquaintances? Do you enjoy visiting their homes or should they come to you? It’s important to know what you can accept in a person and what you can’t.
Create “baby steps”. Once you know what would make you happy you need to see what small steps you can do immediately that would make you feel successful in moving towards your goal. If you’re looking for a relationship, then look for ways to meet people. Can you join a new group, take a class, meet people at church or school or ask friends to get together and bring a friend you don’t know with them? Make sure that your steps are done soon and easily achieved. The skill to doing this is to feel the joy when you have accomplished these steps so that it keeps you motivated to move on with your plan. Keep breaking down the big steps into small parts so that you can easily accomplish them. Keep moving forward.
Be your own cheerleader. Give yourself a pat on the back now and then. Look at what you have done and act as if you were your own best friend. See in your mind what your best friend would likely say to you to show support and say it to yourself. Many people support their friends better than they do themselves. Be that friend to yourself.
Adjust your plan. When you encounter difficulties, change your plan. If things don’t work out the way you want, then regroup. Everyone makes mistakes and you need to give yourself some leeway to make some. You may think you want lots of friends to visit you until you realize you are spending a lot of your time cleaning up and a lot of your own money on free food for the gang. So, then look at the difference between what you thought you wanted and what reality is. Perhaps, you want to be part of a smaller group. Perhaps you want friends that will also open their home for get-togethers.
Persevere. Don’t give up your dreams. There are always multiple solutions to every problem. Be a sleuth and keep searching until you are satisfied with the results. The more you continue taking steps, the closer you will be to the desired final outcome. Read about famous inventors and you will see that it may have taken them hundreds of times to finally get it right.